Inside out

I really enjoy seventh day slumber and maybe that may be odd but if you knew me its just how I am odd man out. Just kidding I am truly a kid at heart and I will let you judge for yourself I hope you enjoy it too let me know.

We Will Never Forget

I was trying to load a very nice tribute to commemorate this tragic day when all
the World was brought together and made every attempt at standing together through prayer and brotherly love is all about. Without much success I could not remember how to load a video however it is on Godtube entitled Revelation Song please check it out. I still remember where I was that fateful morning, living in a 5th wheel behind our children's pastors house watching the news it was so surreal to me as if the world was coming apart before my very eyes. At first I thought it was a preview of a movie with alot of action but it wasn't it was truly happening will forever be a true turning point in my life. I was pregnant with Harmony and one of my sisters called me to tell me not to be upset or to watch the news she didn't want me to miscarry again as I had nine years before. I told her I was fine but I still kept watching the news it was literally on every channel. What I am really trying to say is that if in such a tragedy the United States could pull through and together we as a nation should be able to stand and be triumphant through any situation.

Thank You Ruth

Thank you so much for the comment it really made me think that sometimes when I am going through something maybe there is someone so special to me going through something too. God Bless you Ruth I am praying and asking God for guidance and trying to remember just where I may have left Him. Seriously I know I am always joking around but you have given me so much that I am thankful for. You hang on too I know that no matter what you truly do have it together a lot of the time thanks again for the song it really fit I love these guys.

I just finished doing my bible reading for the morning like every other morning only this time instead of going to an other site and wasting time. I did something different I googled Seventh Day Slumber and on their web page the song was from the Inside Out. I am so wanting to cry cause my insides are in such turmoil I can't even explain or to even know where to begin. I feel like there is such a battle in my body and I am spiritually dying is that possible even though I read my bible everyday??? I do not pray at least not the way I should but I feel like a buoy out in the ocean just floating and taking on water. If it were possible that would be the best way to describe my state of mind as though all the garbage of this world was the sea I am floating on and its really hurting me. So what should I do I know pray would be the thing to do but I feel so far away from God I know that all I have to do is turn around but I am afraid or should I say ashamed. He is the only one who
has always been there for me but the first one that I turn my back on always what if this is the time when He says like others I am done or enough is enough my God what have I done with this precious life you have entrusted to me? And what do I do now I know you are not the author of confusion but my insides are so conflicted please give me the strength to turn around and reach out for that hand of love I know is there I hope is there. Just one last time to feel your loving arms please don't let this be all there is.

Happy Mother's Day

I am Back...

It's been awhile since I have been posting anything so I figured that it may be time to start out again. Let me begin with its been one roller coaster of a time Whew no kidding, Some days are good and some are great then there are the occasional wacky ones. I have really needed to talk to someone but at times I feel like there really is no one. I hate that feeling I begin to wonder where loyalties begin and ananimity I think thats the word kick in I truly do need to talk to someone please Lord as I pray show me that person that I can be safe with my deepest secrets that are really taking a lot out of me spiritually and physically. Please if you read this pray for me. Seriously

Happy Monday....

I just wanted to stop in and tell about all of the wonderful things that God is bringing us through. My husband has really been trying to be wonderman I would say superman but (he's afraid to fly) seriously. I am not trying to be funny even though it sounds like it but he is really doing all that he can to take care of Harmony and me and still keep his sanity which is not an easy task. Cause anyone who knows us knows we are not the two easiest gals to get along with all joking aside. So please say a prayer for us all as we are all working toward the same goal I hope.

I was checking my emails this morning and was really challenged by the following message i received from daily parenting by design. I hope that its ok for me to post this and the blog committee doesn't come after me.

Being a Light to Others

Phil. 2:14-15: Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world (NASU).

In these verses, Paul confronts the believers in Philippi because their complaining and arguing was harming their testimony about Christ. Instead of being "lights in the world", they were behaving like unbelievers.

We may profess a deep trust in Christ, but what we truly believe will emerge in our words and attitude. Take a moment to consider your conversations. What characteristics would stand out to your children? Do you have a tendency to gossip, argue with others, or complain?

If so, you may want to reevaluate the source of your contentment. As Christians, we have an eternal hope in Christ that allows us to face the challenges of life with calmness and peace. If you find yourself relying on favorable circumstances or the actions of others to bring you happiness, ask God to strengthen your faith in Him.

Let your words and actions reflect the love of Christ in your life and be a light to others.

I am a complainer by nature but am really going to try to be conscious whenever I speak and make an example of what God has really done in my life and not what satan always reminds me of.

Random Dozen

1. Have you ever fired a gun or shot a bow and arrow?

Yes, I have fired a gun at least once and a bow and arrow once.

2. Do you know where your childhood best friends are?
No. not really.

3. Do you usually arrive early, late, or on time?
I am usually early especially to the movies cause I don't see very well in the dark so I
try to get there early and find a good seat.

4. Are you more of a New York or California type?
I think more of a New York type with all the hustle and bustle of things going on.

5. Do you have a special ring tone?
Absolutely I have a different one for different people and for text messages too my
favorite is "It's A Jungle Out There" from Monk.

6. What is your favorite type of chip?
Jalepeno Cheetos.

7. Best comedy you've ever seen is ....
"Old Dogs" with John Travolta and Robin Williams Hilllllarrrrrriousssssssssss.

8. Have you ever cut your own hair? To quote Dr. Phil, "How'd that work for ya?"
One time and that was enough for me.

9. If you were going to have an extreme makeover, would you rather it be about your house or your personal self?
On My House please.

10. Are you allergic to anything?
Yes, dust and some medications I believe that I am getting an allergy to milk now.

11. Why is it so hard to change?
Cause most of the time we change whenever things get to tough and its not a positive
experience.

12. One last question dedicated to February love: CS Lewis said, "To love is to be vulnerable." Please share one example of that assertion or share any thought you'd like to about this topic.

When you truly Love you open yourself up to whomever it is and your heart is truly
exposed that is when you are really vulnerable and trusting that the person you love
will protect you and Love you back.



Wanna join in? Just click the picture for Random Dozen above and to copy the questions and link up.

Just Checking In...

I was just checking in and I came across this video and it is so true. I can't believe just how much that God truly does know me and still in all of that he loves me still it still amazes me cause at times I don't even have it in me to love myself. I know how you all think about me my peeps and I love you too. So I am just like I said taking a break and checking in so I will talk later.

Happy To Be Alive

I am doing a little bit better spiritually I find that I have been talking more to God then ever and that is a good thing. Now physically I am not so good I woke up this morning and was not feeling to bad then all of a sudden I was sick and vomiting not sure what that is all about. Hopefully it will subside later on now I am a little queasy but I will survive thanks everyone who has been praying for me especially Ruth who I think is the only one who reads my blog. Actually I think it is my diary cause whatever I feel thats what I blog about. Now to get back to my reason that I am happy to be alive I want to make a difference in this world and not just be a statistic. Not sure how to go about it but if God can make a donkey talk I know that there is hope for me not that you know I think that I am an _ _ _ you can fill in the blank but I want people to really love God and to see the difference He can make in their lives. So I will do what He wants me to do and trust that He has my back front side and everything in the middle too.

Prayer

As I was doing my daily bible reading I felt like here I am again going through the motions doing my duty and feeling like I am not really getting anything out of this what am I doing? I am not sure if anyone has ever felt that way before am I really spending time with my friend Jesus getting to know Him better or am I just doing it cause everyone else is? Please pray for me I know how to pray I just feel so pitiful and I wonder if God hears my prayers cause if you have unforgiveness in your heart I believe that I am just wasting His time and my time as you can probably tell this is weighing heavy on my heart. I don t know how to do what I do not feel and I am still very angry with my family I dont know how to let it go and just forgive them or do I want to forgive them? They hurt me very deeply and I think that this is it for us cause they probably feel the same way and don't forgive me either. Since I am the so called christian in this boy what an example that I set for God. Please pray for me I feel like God is so disappointed in me and I wont be able to get a relationship back with Him because of this stubborness I have and am harboring such resentment that I think it is physically affecting me. I dream about it all the time and I dont want to anymore I just want to forget that it ever happened to us.

It's Sunday Morning

Good Morning Lord its a wonderful day and I will be blessed by it I know that you have wonderful things in store for me. Wow I am really having to almost bite the bullet as they say cause right when I say that things are going great its time for an attack from the enemy. Thats ok cause my God is bigger then anything that he can attempt to throw at me or my family I am standing on the promises of God He has my back as well as alot of people in my church. So that is why in the face of adversity I can stand and face my enemy and know that I have the armor and army of God on my side.

I am back!!!!

I just left on my break and thought what the hey I guess I have a few minutes to say something to all my peeps. The day is wonderful it started out kind of sucky though cause I had to have blood work done and Harmony couldn't go with me she had to wait at the emergency room with the guard. I thought for sure she would puke or throw a huge fit but she sat quietly and waited for what seemed to her like an eternity. She was a real troooper and I was proud of her so I bought her a strawberries and cream from starbucks hence the bucks is right holy molly they are expensive. But I had a gift card which of course I could not find in my bottomless pit purse so needless to say I had to pay with cash cause my looks don't buy me anything any more or did they ever so thats it peeps I ain't got nothing left and my break is over so once again Hasta.

Hello Rain

Just thought about posting something about the rain today while on my break. So I was just walking through it and had a dejavu is that the way it is spelled any way I remember when I was a kid and I loved to walk in the rain and get wet. Now I can't stand it what happens when we grow up do we lose our desire to have fun for fear of looking dorky or what? I don't know if I ever didn't look dorky I think I have always been a dork but that's ok people for some reason still love me so I guess thats all for now cause I aint got nothing left to say hasta my peeps.

Its Good to be ALIVE

Today is Sunday January 17th and it is a good day
For some reason I have this new outlook on life and I am so Blessed at what God has brought me from and to where he is going to take me through. I know that all things work together for my good and even when sometimes more often then I care to admit I worry. I complain and I always seem to take it out on the ones who are close to me Lord please help me to keep my mouth shut when I feel like I have been slighted or things are not going my way. I need to remember that just because its not my way that its not necessarily the wrong way I can't always be right so when I feel like I am help me to be still and not worry about it but instead to pray.

Its been a while since I have posted that I forgot my password so it took a little bit of time and checking my emails so I could change it. I don't really have a lot to say just that I have been pre-occupied with life that I haven't been blogging at all. In fact I think that it has been at least two months since last time. We celebrated Christmas and New Years since then I still haven't spoken to anyone in my family please pray for me. For my attitude to change and my stubbornness to subside.

Count Your Blessings Sunday

I Can't believe that its already Sunday again and time to count my blessings if you would like to join in simply click on the box up above.

1)My first blessing is to God for His tender mercy everyday.

2) To my husband that has to be the closest person I know and yet he still stays with me despite my self sabotaging nature he still Loves and cares for me and Harmony.

3) For my daughter and despite the challenges we go through I wouldn't give up one day with her and her silly self.

4) For family and friends and friends who are like family thank you and bless you all. You know who you are.

Today is Count Your Blessings Sunday if you would like to join in then just click on the button above and get going everybody should have something to be thankful for.

1) My absolute first Blessing is waking up this morning and being able to get out of bed despite the aches and pains I can walk.

2)Upon waking up I look around and have my 7 year old daughter laying in bed with me and my husband on the couch but thank God for both of them.

3)For the sensational people that God has placed in my life I know there are no accidents in God's plan just divine appointments.

4) For my family even with all of the drama they aren't a bad bunch once you get past all of that. I wouldn't change them for any other ones.

5) For my car which I purchased back in 2000 it runs like a champ.

Thats all for now its your turn Count Your Blessings and remember that one for sure should be thanking God for the abilities He has given to us all.

Thankful

When I stop to think about all the tragedy and sadness in the world I am thankful. Its a very unwarranted place to be does that make sense? I am thankful for family that loves and takes care of me, I am thankful for God's peace when I slow down and let it be, and I am thankful for my health I am able to walk, feel and take care of myself and I also have a job. God bless everyone I know today and try to think of just one thing to be thankful for.