Prayer

As I was doing my daily bible reading I felt like here I am again going through the motions doing my duty and feeling like I am not really getting anything out of this what am I doing? I am not sure if anyone has ever felt that way before am I really spending time with my friend Jesus getting to know Him better or am I just doing it cause everyone else is? Please pray for me I know how to pray I just feel so pitiful and I wonder if God hears my prayers cause if you have unforgiveness in your heart I believe that I am just wasting His time and my time as you can probably tell this is weighing heavy on my heart. I don t know how to do what I do not feel and I am still very angry with my family I dont know how to let it go and just forgive them or do I want to forgive them? They hurt me very deeply and I think that this is it for us cause they probably feel the same way and don't forgive me either. Since I am the so called christian in this boy what an example that I set for God. Please pray for me I feel like God is so disappointed in me and I wont be able to get a relationship back with Him because of this stubborness I have and am harboring such resentment that I think it is physically affecting me. I dream about it all the time and I dont want to anymore I just want to forget that it ever happened to us.